


Confused love

by just_give_me_a_random_name



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Romance, Some Humor, porn eventually just you wait, uke akashi bc yassss
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-19
Updated: 2016-01-29
Packaged: 2018-03-18 15:30:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 21,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3574661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/just_give_me_a_random_name/pseuds/just_give_me_a_random_name
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kise Ryouta recently broke up with his girlfriend but soon finds himself in a relationship with another one. Nothing is weird right? Except for the fact that his new girlfriend somewhat resembles Akashi Seijuurou. As the days go by, Kise finds himself noticing Akashi's presence more and how it always makes his heart feels weird and his thoughts run wild.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

If you ever ask how many girlfriends did Kise Ryouta had, the answer will leave you speechless. Kise sure is handsome, tall, athletic, funny and cheerful; seems like perfect boyfriend material yeah? But there is one thing about this sinfully beautiful boy_he gets bored easily. Do you need a proof? Let's head to the school's backyard where something is happening right now. Definition of  _something_ : a break up.

"What are you trying to say?" sobs a girl, "You...you no longer have feelings for me anymore?"

"I'm sorry, Sora. I don't think we will work out and I don't want to drag this on." Kise hates to see girls cry as he doesn't know how to react or handle the situation; and now he makes one cries. Well, not  **one**  to be exact.

"I don't want to break up with you!" more tears, "I love you Kise, why are you doing this to me? Why are you so  _ **heartless**_?!"

The blond reaches out a hand in an attempt to comfort his going to be ex-girlfriend however his hand is being pushes aside roughly and replace it is a hand on his handsome face. A slap.

"I was wrong about you! Don't ever talk to me again!" with that Sora walks away leaving behind a boy who is now rubbing his red left cheek.

"Ouch, it hurts~" Mumbling to himself, Kise makes his way towards the school gate, feeling relieved that his relationship is officially over.

 _It's always fun at the beginning, the chasing and wooing but as soon as I get them, it gets boring. They all became clingy and so predictable. It's no fun._ These thoughts running through Kise's mind right now are the reasons why his relationships can't last no longer than 3 months.

"If you don't put ice on, it will swell up." comes a voice behind him. Upon hearing it, the blond knows exactly whose voice it belongs to.

"Ah, Akashichii," turning behind to get a better look at his captain, Kise continues, "so you saw everything ne?"

"I must say your talent at making girls cry and slap you afterwards is something to admire."

"Stop teasing me, Akashichii is so mean!" The blond sobs dramatically while letting a few crocodile tears roll on his face. "Anyway, why are you staying back so late?"

"Unlike you I don't have anyone to break up with," Akashi replies sarcastically, "there are some matters need to attend to that's why I'm staying back."

"Say Akashichii, I heard that you have never been in a relationship before, is it true?" Kise looks at the redhead cautiously while waiting for an answer.

"Yes, it is true." Teiko's basketball captain replies without hesitation.

"Uwahhh, really?" exclaims the blond, "With your looks and grades, girls must be flocking around you! It's impossible for you not to have admirers!" Kise voices out his disbelief.

"Those girls do not interest me." The boy who has never been in a relationship says calmly.

"You sure are picky, Akashichii."

Akashi suddenly stops walking, it takes Kise a few footsteps to realise this. Turning behind, gold eyes staring into red ruby eyes.

"Unlike you, I don't date for fun." Akashi's voice breaks the silence. "I will only date a person who I truly love. I don't date just for the sake of dating, I date to marry because I don't want to waste my time on someone who I don't intend to spend the rest of my life with."

Witnessing Akashi saying those words with such a serious look on his face, Kise finds another reason to admire his captain.

"Ah is that so? Maybe I should learn from you ne?" The blond turns around and starts to walk at a fast pace. Putting a hand on his chest, he wonders why his heart is beating so fast right now.

* * *

In his model career life, Kise Ryouta has encountered countless of good looking people but never has he seen a girl THIS cute! Today, the blond has a photo shoot with one of those newly famous models. Akane, her name, has an oval shaped face with flawless, porcelain skin; long eyelashes that compliment her big, dove liked eyes. To top it off, her pink plump lips look so kissable, not to mention her jawline is to kill for. The girl overall looks like a doll with her petite body and cute face. However, what draws Kise to Akane is probably her long, beautiful wavy red hair. That shade of red is just the same colour as someone's hair.

"Thank you for your hard work!" Kise chirps cheerfully while bowing to the staffs, he then approaches Akane, "It's a pleasure to work with you!"

"M...Me too! Thanks for your hard work!" The petite model shyly bows to Kise, straightening her back but eyes still focus on the floor, her voice is just above a whisper, "Umm...Kise-kun, if you don't mind...can we exchange phone numbers? I want to know more about you...if you don't mind that's it..." As soon as she finishes her sentence, a shade of deep red makes its way to her face that even a tomato would be jealous.

 _So cute._ Kise reaches into his pocket and pulls out a phone. "Here, type your number. I'll keep in contact with you~"

* * *

News spread fast, within 3 days, everyone in school knows about Kise being single again and that means war is happening among the female population. They are all aiming for that position, to be the one and only Kise Ryouta's  _girlfriend_. However this time they won't succeed as Kise already has his eyes on a red hair model.

 _Akane is so cute even the way she replies texts._ Pressing the send button before putting his phone in the locker, the blond makes his way out to the basketball court. Practice is as tedious as usual with Kuroko falls asleep on the bench and Momoi tries to wake him up before Akashi notices. Aomine now standing next to Kise while they both drinking water like as if they have gone by a week without it.

"So I heard you broke up with that chick from last time?" Aomine starts the conversation.

"Yea, news sure spread fast in school huh." Still breathing heavily, Kise wipes his sweat with a towel.

"Tsk such a waste! She is cute you know and a D-cup mannnn! You don't know how lucky you are." Aomine complains, "So, have anyone that you are interested in yet?"

"A model I met through work, she is suuuuuuper cute~" the blond smiles as Teiko's basketball ace looks at him with annoyance.

"Why do you get all the cute girls, this world is so unfair!"

"You have Momoichii."

"Shut up, Satsuki is just a childhood friend! So what does this model girl look like?"

Kise is trying to find words in his brain to describe Akane when in the corner of his eyes, a flash of red makes an appearance. Akashi stands across the court with a towel over shoulders, a few strands of his fringe are wet due to the sweat, you can see his chest going up and down breathing heavily. In short, Akashi looks-

"You just imagine Akashichii as a girl, that's how she looks like." Kise unconsciously blurts out. Upon hearing this, Aomine gives him a are-you-fucking-kidding-me look.

"Are we talking about the same Akashi here? As in  _ **Akashi** **Seijuurou**_?! Our devil captain?" The tanned player points his finger towards the person of their conversation but quickly withdraws it before he notices. "Akashi as a girl urgh just imagining it gives me goosebumps! If this girl is really as cute as you said, there is no way and I mean it,  _no way_  that Akashi would look like her even if he were a girl!" _  
_

_Yeah, Aomine is right. There is no way Akashi would look as cute as Akane if he were a girl because I think he would look **cuter**  than her. _It takes Kise 5 seconds to realise his own thoughts; and another 5 seconds for his face to turn red.  _Why...Why am I thinking of such things?! And also just now I thought that Akashi looks kind of...erotic...What's wrong with me lately?_


	2. Chapter 2

Akashi can't help but notices that lately, Kise has been constantly stealing glances at him, if you don't want to use the word 'stare' as the idiot blond makes it way too obvious. That doesn't bother Akashi however what bothers him is the reaction afterwards. Without fail, Kise will turn his head to the side and blushes. Yes,  _blushes_. The redhead tries his best to not pay attention to it. Also, with the student council's and basketball club's work, his mind has no space for such petty thing. Unfortunately, what he will witness today makes the supposedly petty thing turns out to be not petty anymore.

Standing at the school gate is a girl. This girl attracts attention of the student population because: 1. She is pretty AND cute at the same time; 2. She is from a prestigious school based on the uniform; and 3. She seems to be waiting for someone. However, what attracts Akashi's attention is her red hair. Beautiful, long wavy hair in the same shade of red as his. Except for her eyes, overall her face is similar to his. It is as if Akashi is looking at himself as a girl. He feels uncomfortable. Then at that moment, a boy approaches the said girl. Words exchange. Face turns red. A kiss on the cheek. Holding hands with intertwined fingers. It is obvious that the boy is her boyfriend. And that makes Akashi feels even more uncomfortable. Why? The boy is Kise Ryouta. His teammate is dating someone who resembles him.

* * *

Having to attend practice right after student council's meeting really drains Akashi out. He is tired both physically and mentally. Everyone has gone home. As the captain, Akashi always stays back last to lock the gym up so here he is, sitting in the locker room drying his hair. All he wants to do right now is to lie down and takes a nap. What Akashi wants, Akashi will get it. Soon Teiko's basketball captain is sleeping soundly. In his dream, he feels his mother's hand on his head, gently caressing his hair. He leans into the touch, wanting to feel more of it. It makes him feel safe and calm. He misses his dear mother. He wants to stay in this dream forever. Unfortunately, nothing last forever. Akashi soon finds himself drifting out of the dream. However, the warmth of his mother's hand is still there. It feels so real. Slowly opening his eyelids, Akashi's sleepy eyes meet Kise's surprised ones.

* * *

"Ah damn it, I forgot my student ID! You guys go on without me first!" Kise says to his teammates and starts to jog back school while still rummaging through his bag in hope to find the student ID.

 _How careless of me! Hopefully the gym is still open._ Finally arrives at his destination, Kise thanks god as he pushes the door and makes his way to the locker room. A student ID is what Kise wants to find in the locker room, however, he finds something else. To be exact,  _someone._  In front of him, on a bench, there lies Akashi Seijuurou sleeping like a baby. Standing rooted to his spot, the blond afraid to move even an inch for the fear of waking his captain up. After a few minutes, seeing that Akashi is in deep sleep, Kise then dare to move closer. He takes a close look at Akashi's face.

 _He looks like an angel when he asleep unlike how he behaves during the day which earns him the nickname devil captain._ The blond is so tempted to take out his phone and snaps a picture as this is a one in a million chance. Kise's eyes drink in every details on Akashi's face and they wander to the top of his head. Nothing can be heard in the locker room except for Akashi's soft breathing. The blond seems to forget who the person sleeping in front of him is as he reaches out a hand and places it on top of his fearful captain's head. Sinking his fingers into Akashi's hair, Kise can feel its softness caresses each one of his fingers. Never in his life had he felt something this soft and…lovely. The faint smell of shampoo, the soft feeling of his red locks, his sleeping face, his soft breathing. Kise sits there and takes all of them in, wishing for this moment to last forever. Unfortunately, nothing last forever. Soon, Kise's eyes meet Akashi's sleepy gaze.

* * *

"Umm…Akashichii…I can explain…" Hand still on the now awaken devil captain's head, Kise mumbles weakly.

"Your hand…" Akashi says sleepily.

"Yes?!" The blond jumps at the voice, fear overtakes him as he secretly prays to god for his dear life.

"…it feels nice." The redhead finishes his sentence and leans into Kise's touch while sleepy eyes gaze at the shocked face in front of him. Silence. For some reasons, the blond looks really flustered right now and for some reasons, Akashi finds the look on Kise's face is absolutely adorable. Maybe it is because he is sleepy or maybe it is just Akashi himself. Either way, he doesn't really care for now, all he wants is the feeling of Kise's warm hand on top of his head.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Since that day in the locker room, Kise can't get the image of a sleeping Akashi Seijuurou out of his head as well as the soft feeling of his hair on Kise's fingers.  _He even let me caress his hair afterwards, I thought he was going to kill me for sure._ Deep in thoughts, Kise doesn't notice that a ball is flying towards his direction. A loud thud. A body falls flat onto the ground. And yes you guess it correctly, Kise is lying face down on the ground.

"Ah shit! Are you ok?" Aomine runs over to pick up both the ball and Kise.

"Umm I'm fine…" As soon as he finishes his sentence, he can feel the metallic taste in his mouth. Reaching up a hand to check his suspicion. He is right. Kise is having a nosebleed.

"Nooooo my model face," whines the blond, "this is all your fault Ahominechii. My face is my selling point, what am I gonna do now?"

"Ugh it's just a nosebleed. It's your own fault for spacing out and didn't notice the ball in the first place." retorts the tanned player, "And STOP calling me Ahominechii! What the fuck man."

"My faceeee what if it gets uglier?" Kise still continues half whining half teasing the person who caused his nosebleed.

"It's better if it's like that. You are so annoying, just shut up and go to the infirmary." Turning his back in the opposite direction, Aomine signals Kise to follow him. "Let's go, we need to tell Akashi about your injury."

The blond isn't sure whether the fall is too hard or at the mention of Akashi name that more blood is starting to flow out now.

"Akashi, Kise got hit by a ball and is having a bad nosebleed. I think he needs to go to the infirmary." says Aomine while jerking his thumb behind at the injured copycat player.

Teiko's basketball captain looks up from his clipboard and shortens the distance between him and Kise to get a better look at the blond's face. Even though the hand that places under his nose practically blocks half of his face, Kise still feel embarrassed to be stared at by Akashi.

"You just continue practice as usual, I'll bring Kise to the infirmary." The redhead announces and on his way out of the gym, he places the clipboard down on a nearby bench. Without a word, Kise follows Akashi like how a puppy follows its owner. The walk is awkward as expected. Silence is walking in between the boys and it is clearly enjoying itself.

 _Ah this is so quiet. Usually I can think of lots of things to talk, why is my mind blank now? Think of something to start a conversation Kise!_ Wiping the blood away, Kise is torturing his brain cells in anyway possible for a topic to break this deafening silence.

"Turn your head to this side for awhile." Akashi beats Kise to it.

Obediently listens to his order, the blond wonders what is his captain up to this time. Akashi then puts both his hands on the taller boy's head and pulls it down so now he and Kise are looking at each other at same eye level. The blond can feel his heart beating loudly while his captain calmly places a thumb over the top of Kise's lips and gently swipes it from left to right. Finally releases his hold on the taller boy's head, the said boy instantly stands up straight and looks down at the redhead with confusion written all over his face.

"You have some blood on your face so I decided to help you clean it." Then Akashi sticks out his tongue and licks at the thumb that just had Kise's blood on it. Kise can feel heat rushes up to his face and immediately pinches his nose for the fear of another nosebleed. As he swears to god, Akashi just now looks so so… _seductive_. Seeing his teammate's reaction, the devil captain smirks and walks ahead.

"Come on, the infirmary is right there." Without looking back, he says.

* * *

"Kise-kun, I didn't know that you are in the basketball club, that's so cool."

"Haha is it? I think it's normal. Say are you in any club at your school?"

Two middle school students, or you might say two models, are currently having a date in a crowded fast food restaurant. One thing for sure is they attract attention of other customers; putting two absolutely gorgeous human beings next together without doubt, you won't be able to peel your eyes away from them. Their beauty just kind of enchants you. Kise is now looking at his new girlfriend pretending to listen to her story while in actual fact, he wonders how long will they be together. For your information, his longest relationship lasted for three months. Kise's eyes scan her face features thoroughly and without him realising it, he is comparing how much alike Akane is to Akashi.

_Except for the eyes, almost everything else looks similar. Akanechii's eyes are like dove's while Akashichii's ones resemble cat's._

"Umm Kise-kun?" a voice interrupts his train of thoughts.

"Ah, yes?" snaps out of his observation, the blond replies quickly but not without flashing his signature killer smile.

"It's just that…you have been staring at my face for awhile now…Does my face have anything on it?" Akane blushes while timidly asking.

 _So cute._  Kise probes an elbow on the table and leans himself forward, he then gives the still blushing redhead a quick peck on the lips.

"Why? Is it wrong to look at my girlfriend and admire her beauty?" Retreats back to his seat, Kise mutters those words huskily. The blush on Akane's face becomes redder giving it a similar colour to her hair.

 _Cute, so cute._ "Come, let's walk you home. It's getting late." As a gentleman as he is, Kise carries Akane's bag not forgetting to hold her hand and makes his way to the exit.

Throughout their walk to the train station, the blond notices his girlfriend's palm is becoming sweatier and the shade of red decorating her doll-liked face is deepening. Kise likes the colour on her face, such a beautiful colour. The blond slows down his pace until they come to a stop. Akane looks up questioningly at her boyfriend, the said boy then leans down closing the distance between their faces. When their lips are only a few inches apart, Kise stops and looks into Akane's eyes, quietly asking for permission. The redhead closes her eyes and parts her lips slightly, giving him her agreement. Kise captures Akane's lips in a gentle movement. Dropping both of their bags on the ground, he digs his hands into her hair, feeling the softness of it against his fingers.

 _So soft…just like Akashichii's hair…_ Tightening his grip on her hair, Kise deepens the kiss.  _This pair of lips that is so similar to Akashichii's ones, I wonder will his taste the same?_ It is then Kise abruptly pulls back much to Akane's surprise. The blond just looks really  _pale_.

"Kise-kun, what's wrong? Are you feeling ok?"

"N…Nothing…It's nothing. I'm ok."

However the situation is anything but ok. Why? Kise Ryouta kisses his girlfriend but all on his mind is the image of Akashi Seijuurou.


	4. Chapter 4

Akashi Seijuurou has no intention of meeting a certain girl or getting to know her. A certain girl here is Kise Ryouta's girlfriend whom he saw at the school gate and also who resembles him greatly; if you don't want to use the word 'disturbingly'. However, life never gives you what you want and fate has a funny way to mess with you. Here he is, standing a few metres away from two figures, accidentally witnessed their kissing session.

 _I better leave before Kise notices me, knowing him he would probably introduce me to that girl._ Just when Akashi is about to turn around, their eyes meet. Surprised orbs of gold stare into a pair of calm crimson eyes.

"A…Akashichii?" Kise looks like a kid being caught redhanded after stealing his favourite candy from a convenient store.

"Hello Kise." Akashi greets and nods politely at the girl standing next to the blond.

"I didn't expect to see you here." Kise starts walking towards Akashi's direction with Akane follows closely behind.

"Neither did I." Akashi glances at the girl behind Kise and notices the shock presents in her eyes.

"Let me introduce you two," the blond grabs his girlfriend by the hand and pulls her closer to him so that his captain can get a better look at her, "Akane, this is Akashi, my basketball team captain. Akashi, this is Akane, my girlfriend."

Since the moment Akane sees Akashi, she can't peel her eyes off him as in her entire life, she has never seen anyone whose face is so similar to hers.

"Nice to meet you." Her doppelganger smiles and offers a handshake. His hand stays in the air for about five seconds before Akane snaps out of her shocked state.

"Ah…Ummm…Nice to meet you too, Akashi-kun!" Hastily grabs the hand in front of her, she can feel the stare from those cat-liked eyes scanning her from head to toe.

 _This person is scary, he gives me shiver._  Retreating back her hand, Akane grabs onto Kise's shirt nervously, wanting to leave this place as she can't stand the intimidating gaze fixates on her from Akashi. Noticing his girlfriend is feeling uncomfortable as well as the awkwardness floating in the atmosphere, Kise decides to speak up.

"I see that you two have made acquaintance with each other so it's time for me to escort Akanechii back home, it's getting late." The blond chirps as cheerfully as he can in an attempt to clear the air. "Bye bye Akashichii! See you tomorrow in school~"

"Bye Akashi-kun." There is relief in Akane's voice.

"Goodbye Kise. Goodbye-" Akashi pauses, looks at the girl and smiles before saying her name, "-Akane."

The said girl's intuition is telling her that this friend of Kise doesn't like her. And you know what people say about women's intuitions, they are always right.

* * *

"So, what do you think of my girlfriend?" Kise asks Akashi when they are in school the next day. "She is such a cutie, isn't she?"

That comment is like a slap on the face for the prideful redhead as he hates to admit it but Akane really does resemble him a lot and by saying Akane is 'such a cutie' is the same as calling him 'a cutie'.

"I wonder how long will you last with this  _cutie_." Akashi emphasises on the word 'cutie' while looking up at Kise annoyingly.

"I'm pretty sure we will be together for a long looooong time~ I'm head over heels for her you know!" The blond continues oblivious to the annoyed aura emits from his captain. Upon hearing this, the redhead contemplates for a second before decides to tell Kise  _something_ that he sure the blond won't like it.

"You know that I'm very good at sensing when a person is telling a lie right? You are not head over heels for her." Ignoring the confused look he receives from Kise, the redhead continues, "I saw you kissed her yesterday. I have seen everything and I can tell you that-" Akashi now locks eyes with Kise and calmly let the next few words flow out of his mouth,"-you kiss her but your love is a lie."

Kise stays silent, the words sit on his shoulder for awhile before climbing lazily into his ears.  _What does he mean by I don't love Akane? If I don't love her why would I even be in a relationship with her in the first place? Why, indeed why?_

Then the truth splashes into Kise's face like a bucket of cold water. The reason why he is dating Akane, the reason why he adores her, the reason why he  _kisses_ her_it is all because Akane looks so  _ **so**_  much like Akashi.

"What a shame, that poor girl doesn't have your love, what a shame really." The devil captain now reaching up a hand and touches Kise's face. Still stunned after learning the truth, Kise stands there frozen unable to react to the hand now caressing his cheek. Tucks a blond lock behind his ear, Akashi tiptoes and places his face dangerously close to Kise's.

"Tell me, who do you really  _love_?" Smirking, the redhead mischievously makes eye contact with the now bemused blond. And for a moment there, Kise sees a glint of yellow in Akashi's left eye. Backing himself away from the model, Akashi turns and walks towards his classroom.

 _What…what was that just now?!_  Kise stands in the middle of the hallway touching his cheek where Akashi left his warmth there.

Due to the talk they had earlier in the morning, Kise has been feeling uncomfortable throughout practice. He can't bring himself to look at Akashi. All on his mind since morning till now is so if he dates Akane because she resembles Akashi, does that mean he loves Akashi instead? The more he thinks about it, the more confused he gets. It is true that Akashi is attractive, a fair-skinned slender yet fit boy with a beautiful face; excels in both academics and sports, if he isn't the definition of perfect then Kise doesn't know who or what else is.

 _If I were a girl, I would definitely go for Akashi._ Thinking absentmindedly, the blond grabs his water bottle and drinks it.  _Ah, there I go again, thinking about weird things._ Frustrated, Kise puts down the water bottle and buries his head in his palms, trying to figure things out. He doesn't notice a hand grabs his bottle and a pair of lips is now drinking from it. The blond only realises when the person puts back the object next to him. It is Akashi. Akashi just drank from Kise's water bottle. Akashi just shares an  ** _indirect kiss_**  with Kise. And the thought of it makes the copycat player blushes. Noticing the change in colour on the blond's face, Akashi tilts his head to the side and asks.

"Why are you blushing?"

"A…Akashichii….You…you just drank from my water bottle…that means we…we share…you know?" Kise manages to utter those words while feeling the heat in his face becoming hotter and hotter.

"How old are you really, I didn't know you mind this type of things," the redhead looks at Kise amusedly, "that isn't a kiss at all whatever you call it, indirect or what not. Do you know what is a kiss? Do you perhaps want  _ **me**_  to demonstrate it for you?"

By now, Kise's face is as red as a tomato and he utters incoherent words that Akashi can't understand a thing.

 _This is interesting._ The devil captain leans down and pulls the towel which places on Kise's shoulders. Taken by surprise, Kise launches forward, bumping his forehead lightly against Akashi's. Needless to say, if you are able to bump your forehead against someone's, it means that your face is at a very close proximity to that someone's face. And here we have an idiot, flustered, confused boy looking up at a playful, mischievous, sadistic boy.

"Akashichii…wh…what are you doing? There are people around us." If Kise's face could get any redder, he swears it would.

"So are you trying to say if there is no one around, you wouldn't mind?" Akashi's voice is just above a whisper, it sends shiver down Kise's backbone. He can feel the redhead's breath on his lips. A part of him wants to lean forward and captures those lips in his, a part of him wants to push Akashi away, a part of him wants to stay still and sees whether Akashi will kiss him or not. Basically, Kise's mind is in a mess right now. Releases his grip on the towel, Akashi stands up and casually smiles.

"Come on, break is over, time to get back to practice." And with that, he leaves Kise who now has a bewildered look on his face. Gold orbs staring at a back, fingers finding their way to trembling lips. It is still there, Akashi's breath is still lingering on Kise's lips.


	5. Chapter 5

It would be a lie to say Akashi Seijuurou isn't attracted to Kise Ryouta. A tall and well built body with perfect pack abs. A gorgeous face that could easily enchanted anyone. Blond locks of hair that seem to capture a piece of sun and radiate out the most beautiful colour. That one eyelash seems too long compares to others. His cheerful attitude and how he can be childish most time but when it comes to the things he is really passionate about, he puts on a serious face. All of them. Every single detail. They make Akashi develops an interest in Kise and soon later on finds himself, although he hates to admit, attracted to this boy who is always full of energy. Akashi also realises Kise somehow,  _maybe_  feeling the same about him too. The way Kise's eyes always secretly find their way to Akashi. The way Kise blushes whenever Akashi catches him looking. The way Kise gets all flustered whenever Akashi purposely makes skin-to-skin contact. Okay it is not maybe anymore, it is  **surely**  that Kise is attracted to Akashi. However how Akashi is attracted to Kise is different from how Kise is attracted to Akashi. For Akashi it is something like a child is curious about how a new toy works and wants to explore it. For Kise it is more like a child with his favourite toy car from grandma but is afraid to use it for the fear of spoiling the toy and never gets a chance to play with it again.

* * *

Kise has been acting weird these few days, he would always in a daze, not really paying attention to anything Akane says, or how he kisses her chastely on the lips and draws back with a puzzled look. It worries Akane to see her boyfriend behaving this way. So that day, even though she really dislikes the idea of talking to Akashi Seijuurou, she does anyway. She accidentally sees him in a bookstore and she wants to find out what happened to Kise; so she mutters up all her courage and starts a conversation with the fearful redhead.

"Hi, Akashi-kun, remember me? I'm Kise-kun's girlfriend." Flashing her professional model smile, Akane hopes it hides her nervousness.

"Hello Akane, yes I do remember you." Akashi takes his eyes off his book for a moment to look at her as an acknowledgement before returning his attention to the book again.

"Um…what type of book are you reading?" Akane tries to break the ice.

Closing his eyes, Akashi shuts the book and turns to face the source of his irritation. Akane jumps a bit on her spot and starting to regret her decision when Akashi scans her with his cold gaze.

"Listen, I know you are not really keen on the idea of talking to me so," he now smiles, "what makes you initiate this, a conversation with me?"

The petite model keeps silent for awhile before asking the next question nervously.

"Well, you see, you are the only friend of Kise that I know and he is kind of…weird lately so I want to know what happened to him?"

"Define 'weird'."

"He doesn't talk to me like how he used to, he sometimes looks at me like he is in a daze and then snaps out with a frown. Also when he kisses me, it just doesn't feel right, it is like he is not really _there_." Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, she continues. "He is…he feels so distant from me."

"And you are thinking he acts this way because of something happened to him lately?"

"Yes, I  **want**  to think of it like that because-" Akane stares at the ground and fidgets with her fingers anxiously, "-I don't want to think of it as Kise is getting bored of me. I…I don't think I can handle it."

"If this upsets you so much why don't you just breakup with him?" Akashi comments boredly, he wants to get out of here quick.  _The details of your pathetic love life do not interest me._

"Bre…Breakup?!" The model looks at the person in front of her wided-eyed. "I can't! I love him! I don't want us to end like this!"

 _This is like a line coming from a soap opera, so annoying._  Not only does she disturb Akashi from reading his book, she also annoys him with all these  _love talks_  so he decides to be mean to her **,** a bit.

"Say, did you ever hear Kise said 'I love you' to you?"

Silent.

"Not even  _ **once**_?"

Still no words.

"And have you ever wondered-" the redhead devil bends down to make eye contact with his doppelganger, "-why are we so alike? Why is Kise dating someone whose face is so  _ **so similar**_  to his friend? Why?"

Akane is dumfounded and her shoulders are trembling slightly. The look on her face is priceless and very amusing for Akashi.

"It's been nice talking to you." The boy says with a cunning smile. "Have a nice day, Akane." And proceeds to the cashier to make payment for his book.

* * *

Three days have passed since her talk with Akashi. Kise isn't getting better. Her mind is a mess. It is true that she resembles Akashi a lot but it is just a coincidence right? Kise is not dating her because she looks like Akashi right? Kise is dating her because he loves her right? Right? Kise…loves…

Akane wants to confirm Kise's love for her. The reason they are dating. She wants to hear it from him but somehow inside, there is this voice telling her not to for the truth might turn out to be ugly. Sometimes, people don't want to hear the truth because they don't want their illusions destroyed. This applies to Akane's case. She wants to stay by Kise's side, she wants to be his girlfriend, she wants his hugs and kisses and she wants the idea of Kise is in love with her.

* * *

If Akane's mind is a mess, Kise's mind is worse. He has been thinking about Akashi's question, about who does he really love? Of course it must be Akane right? After all he is dating her and she is so pretty and cute and nice and sweet and the colour of her hair is so beautiful and-the colour of her hair…is the same as Akashi's. Her face…is the same as Akashi's. Her lips…are the same. Lately, whenever Kise looks at Akane, all he sees is his captain in a wig and dress instead of his girlfriend. Whenever he kisses her, Akashi will without fail appear on his mind and he can feel the redhead's breath lingers on his lips. This is all too weird. Why is the devil captain all he thinks about lately? Why is that when he thinks about love, Akashi name will somehow pop out? Why? Why?

 _Maybe it's because you love him._ "Oy Kise!"

"NO NO NO I don't love him that's not true!" Kise jumps out of his seat due to the shock from hearing Aomine's sudden voice.

"Huh? What are you talking about? You love who?"

"Love? Of OF COURSE I LOVE AKANE MY CUTE AND PRETTY AND-"

"-Ugh shut up you are annoying!" Throwing a ball into Kise's face, Aomine successfully shuts Kise up as he wishes to. "Stop daydreaming, don't slack off during practice, I don't want any punishment from Akashi, you hear me? Just imagine what will he make us do gives me shivers already."

With that the tanned player and the copycat player head for the court and start their usual menu. Even though his body is in the court but Kise's mind is definitely not. He moves without thinking and paying attention to his surrounding. Due to that when the blond steps back while trying to pass the ball to Midorima, he bumps into someone and a loud thud produces. Everyone's attention focus on the source of the sound. There it is, Kuroko lies still on the ground, his usual expressionless face now replaces with a slight frown.

"I'm so sorry Kurokochii! Are you ok?" Kise exclaims and quickly helps Kuroko on his feet.

"I'm ok, just feeling a bit dizzy that's all." Then the bluenette feels something warm trickling down on his forehead. Curious, he reaches his fingers up to check and what greets him is the sight of blood on his fingers.

"Blood! Oh no Kurokochii is bleeding, this is all my fault! I'm so sorry Kurokochii please forgive me!" Kise starts using his shirt to clean the blood on Kuroko's hand and is about to do the same on his forehead when someone stops him.

"Kise, stop making a fuss." Comes the authoritative voice. "Kuroko, let me see your injury."

Akashi uses one hand to lift Kuroko's bang up while the other hand grabs his chin and tilts it slightly so he can get a better look. The captain's face is at a very close distance to the shadow's face as he is inspecting the wound. Seeing this, Kise can't help but bites his lower lip and clenches his fists. His mind whirling with ugly thoughts, he can feel a burning sensation in his chest and a heavy lump in his throat. He doesn't like how Akashi's hand is on Kuroko's face. He doesn't like the way Akashi looks at Kuroko with care and concern. He doesn't like how their faces are so close. He doesn't like that Akashi is paying attention to someone else besides him. He doesn't like it at all. Is this jealousy? Why does he feel this way towards Akashi? It doesn't take him long to realise it.

_I'm in love with him. Out of all people, why must I fall in love with Akashi, this is the worst._


	6. Chapter 6

"Aomine you need to stop getting red marks or else you aren't allowed to play in the next tournament, that's what the coach said. He has received complaints from your teachers." And so Aomine's day starts with this bad news delivered by Akashi.

"What?! I can't play in the next tournament? You can't do that!" The tanned player explodes, refusing to believe what his captain says. His bellowed voice makes every head turns to face the duo in the hallway.

"If you get better marks for the next exam, nobody is stopping you from playing. But seriously, how much of an airhead are you? Almost all your subjects got red marks."

"Tsk it's not my fault that the lessons are so boring so I would rather sleep than-"

"-and that's exactly the reason why you got red marks. Listen, I want you to play in the next tournament because you are our ace; so we need to do something about your studies. After school, meet me in the library, I'll tutor you. Oh and I'm a strict teacher so be prepared." Akashi finishes his sentence with a sickening sweet smile that sends cold shivers down Aomine's backbone. Gulping to himself, Teiko's basketball ace dreads for school to end.

* * *

 _Hmmm now where is that book about geometry? I can't afford getting red marks if I want to play in the next tournament._ Kise runs his slender fingers through book titles while scanning for the one he is looking for when he sees a familiar figure. Standing a few footsteps away from him is Akashi, the redhead is holding a book while looking up at the shelf in front of him. A sigh. Then Akashi tiptoes in an attempt to reach for a book but it seems like it doesn't work as his eyebrows knit together in frustration.

"Do you need help?" When Kise finishes his question, the redhead's feet are on the ground again and he turns to face the blond. They stay like that for 5 seconds until a voice breaks the silence.

"Actually, I do need your help," the copycat player can see the annoyed look on his captain's face, "that book, the one in blue, I need it."

"Oh, it's the same book I'm looking for. Are you studying in the library right now?" The blond asks as he reaches for the book and pulls it out.

"I'm tutoring Aomine, he got red marks for most of his subjects. We need him to play in the next tournament." Teiko's basketball captain grabs the book from his teammate and signals him to follow. "You can join us if you want."

With that Kise finds himself sitting next to Aomine who is biting his pen, scratching his head then yawns and the cycle repeats. Akashi is sitting in front of him and the blond can't peel his eyes away from the said boy. Sunlight passes through the glass window and latches itself onto Akashi's red locks making it a brighter shade. His gaze casts down at the book on the table, long eyelashes flutter slightly whenever he blinks. The sight of Akashi bathing in sunlight makes Kise wants to reach out his hand, traces his fingers along the redhead's jawline and kisses those long eyelashes softly. Akashi just simply looks so beautiful that it makes Kise forgets how to breathe for a moment.

"Wait, what day is it today?" Aomine's voice pulls Kise out of his daze.

"20th." Akashi replies while looking at the tanned player questioningly.

"Shit! I need to go to my cousin's wedding at 5 or else my mum is going to skin me alive!" Glancing at the clock in the library, seeing it is already 4, Aomine hastily packs his bag. "I'm sorry Akashi, I really need to go! Tomorrow I promise I'll stay back and study properly." Pushing his chair out, the boy quickly makes his way to the exit door before his captain can say anything to reject him going home.

Now, Kise and Akashi are alone. Yes, no one else is in the library. They are alone, sitting across each other awkwardly. Actually it's only Kise that feels awkward, Akashi is just his usual self. After realising his love for the redhead, Kise finds it hard to face him or be near him without anyone nearby. When the blond helps his captain with the book just now, it takes all his might to maintain his cool image in front of Akashi, to act like nothing is affecting him. But now, just sitting still requires all his energy.

"You seem uncomfortable, what's wrong?" Akashi rests his chin on his palm while looking at Kise.

Startled by the sudden question and the redhead's eyes on him, the blond shakes his head profusely. "Nothing, I'm perfectly fine, it's not like I feel uncomfortable being alone with you or anything-"

Suddenly, there is a hand on Kise's head, it softly caresses his blond locks and retreats back as fast as how it gets to his head.

"There is a leaf on your hair." Akashi puts the leaf down and stands up with books in his arms. "Let's return all these and go home, school is closing soon."

Touching his hair, Kise feels heat rushing up to his face and he sits there like a statue for awhile until the redhead's voice pulls him back to reality. "Kise, come and help me put this book back on the shelf."

Hastily makes his way towards the source of the voice, the blond finds his captain standing at the same spot where they first met in the library. Grabbing the geometry book while standing behind Akashi, the copycat player puts it back on the shelf easily.

"Thanks." Comes the voice softly.

"You're wel-" Kise looks down wanting to reply but his voice is caught in his throat; Akashi is looking up at him, those eyes, those beautiful red ruby orbs, they are somehow sparkling. Kise's gaze moves towards his lips.  _They look so kissable._ Everything else in the background fades away and before he knows it, Kise's lips are on Akashi's ones. It takes 10 seconds for Kise to realise his act and when he does, the blond abruptly pulls back and moves away from the redhead.  _Shit! What have I done?! Fuck now how am I going to face Akashi!_

"Aka…Akashi...it isn't what you think, this is just, I didn't mean to-" Kise tries to explain himself pathetically. Akashi just stands there touching his lips without saying any word, the blond thought for sure that his devil captain would kill him that's why the next few words from Akashi's mouth surprise Kise.

"It didn't feel bad." The blond doesn't believe his ear. "The kiss, it felt good actually."  _Heaven, are you playing a trick on me? Oh I get it this is a dream._  With that thought in mind, Kise slaps himself hard in the face and regrets the instant his hand comes into contact with his face.  _Okay, not a dream. This must be the end of the world then._

"That is going to leave a handprint on your face." Without him realising it, Akashi is already standing in front of Kise and his hand is now touching the red cheek, the blond flinches at the touch. It stings. "Looks painful…Maybe my kiss will somehow soothe the pain, want to try?" Akashi playfully suggests while moving his face closer to Kise's. Gulping to himself, the copycat player can't believe his ears, he can't believe that the fearful, devil, the one and only Akashi Seijuurou is allowing Kise to kiss him. The blond's fingers tremble slightly as they touch Akashi's face, bending down, he gently places his lips on top of Akashi's. The moment their lips touch, Kise feels light headed. Everything in the room is spinning and he feels so glad that he is alive. Akashi's soft, warm lips taste like strawberry and they make Kise hungers for more. The blond wraps his arms around the shorter boy's waist pulling him closer. Taken by surprise, Akashi lets out a gasp, the model uses this opportunity to slip his tongue in. He moves his tongue slightly, slowly caressing Akashi's one with his. The redhead responds back by tilting his head to the side and deepens the kiss. Tightens his grip on Kise's hair, Akashi bites the blond's lower lip until there is blood coming out. Pulling himself away from the kiss, the redhead smirks while looking at Kise's dazed face.

"You do know that you are cheating on your lovely girlfriend right now, don't you?" Not waiting for a reply, Akashi licks the blood that is now dripping down the model's chin and sucks on his lower lip gently. Then he traces his tongue along the taller boy's bottom lip asking for entrance. This drives Kise crazy as he grabs a handful of Akashi's hair and pulls his head back while shoving his tongue in the redhead's mouth. They continue their make out session until one pulls back to catch his breath. That person is Akashi. Breathing heavily, eyes full of lust, he looks at Kise whose cheeks are red and eyes cloud with desire. Smiling to himself, Akashi wipes his thumb across Kise's lips.

"Ah, I want to stain your lips with my name on it so later, when you are kissing that girl, she can taste me clearly, vividly on the lips of her lover. Oh, I wonder what would she do? I wonder what would  _you_ do, Kise Ryouta?"


	7. Chapter 7

Everyone, at one point in their lives, craves for one's touch, craves for one's love. No matter how strong and tough you are, at one point in your life, let it be at 3 am when you are alone in bed or at 11 pm when you are surrounded by strangers in a club, you will crave for someone to tell you that they care and that they will stay by your side. You will crave for that small sense of security and belonging because we are all human beings, we need that. Akashi is human, too. And so, a week after  _the kiss_ , he finds himself longing for that warmth again, that sensation he felt on his lips, that touch lingered on his waist; the way Kise pulled Akashi close, the way his shaky fingers caressed Akashi's face, the way his breath felt near Akashi's ear, the way he looked at Akashi before he kissed him. The redhead craves to see them one more time, to  _ **feel**_  them one more time. He knows what he wants is wrong, Kise already has a girlfriend. But you know what they say: Stolen sugar tastes the sweetest.

Ever since after  _the kiss_ , Akashi acts like nothing happened and it disappoints Kise, he thought Akashi must have felt something for him that's why he kissed the blond back.  _Who am I kidding, this is Akashi we're talking about, there is no way he will feel anything for me._ Kise thinks as he sighing to himself.

"Are you ok? You have been sighing for the past few minutes." Akane asks over her shoulder.

"Huh? No, it's just I don't get how you girls braid your hair. I'm having trouble here." The blond answers as he tries to cross a strand of hair over another.

"It's not that difficult." Akane giggles, "You really like to play with my hair, don't you?"

"Yea, I like it."  _The colour is the same as Akashi's, such a beautiful shade of red._ "There, I'm done!" Kise chirps cheerfully as he finishes braiding his girlfriend's hair and is now tying it with a cute ribbon.

"Thankyou, you will make a good hairdresser." The petite model smiles and gives her boyfriend a peck on his cheek. Kise then wraps his arms around Akane, hugging her from the back, she leans into his touch and rests her head on his chest while turning up to look at the blond. Seeing how small Akane is in his arms and how adorable she is right now with her eyes glancing upward to meet his, Kise can't help but moves his head down and kisses her softly on the lips. As he parts his lips, she susurrates, "I love you." And he says what a boyfriend is supposed to say in this situation, "I love you, too." This is also the first time he utters those words to Akane but he didn't feel anything, not even when he kissed her, he didn't feel his heart beating loudly in his chest, he didn't feel his palms getting sweaty, he didn't feel lightheaded, he didn't feel butterflies in his stomach. He didn't feel what he felt when he kissed Akashi. So he utters those words 'I love you' emptily, hollowly and Akane can see it in his eyes. He doesn't love her.

* * *

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you feel ecstatic one moment and leaves you miserable the next. It makes you so vulnerable as another person can affect you easily in every way possible. You let them see a part of your soul, you open up your chest allowing them to invade your heart. The worst part is you let them do that, you grant them the power to be able to hurt you, all because you want them in your life. How they smile when you make eye-contact, how they kiss you every now and then, how their hands fit so perfect in yours. All these, once you have a taste of all these, you become addicted. They are like drugs, you are addicted to them. You would die rather than live without them. With that being said, Akane would die rather than live without Kise. She knows he doesn't love her. She knows. However, she refuses to let him go because she loves him so much, more than she plans to.

* * *

"Akashi, you didn't tell me you have a sister. She is standing at the school gate looking for you."

"Sister?" Akashi looks at his classmate questioningly. Today it's his turn to stay back to clean the classroom.

"Yea, when I went out to throw the rubbish, I saw her. I overheard she asked Harumi from class B for you so I told her I'm your classmate and she told me to tell you that she wants to talk to you." The messenger says as he is putting up chairs on desks. Without the mention of the girl's name, Akashi knows who it is instantly.  _There can only be one girl who looks similar to me._

"I heard you are looking for me?" Akashi asks upon approaching his doppelganger, "Where's Kise?"

"Ah, Akashi-kun!" Akane seems nervous. "I came here after knowing that he has left the school. I want to talk to you alone you see."

"What is it that you want to talk to me?"

"It's about…umm…our last conversation," the petite model gulps and fidgets with her fingers, "about whether Kise loves me or not, about-" she pauses and looks at Akashi, "-who he really loves."

"And you want to talk to me about it because?" The redhead asks amusedly.

"You see, I have been thinking about what you said, about the reason Kise is dating me, about how our faces are so similar." With this Akane laughs but her eyes aren't. "It's just ridiculous how you look  _so much_  like me, you think it's ridiculous too, don't you?"

"I agree." Akashi replies as he stands there watching the girl in front of him slowly losing her sanity.

"I  **hate**  it, you know?" For the first time, Akane looks directly into Akashi's eyes without fear or nervousness. It amuses the boy for a shy and timid girl is actually able to do this.

"It feels like as if he is seeing you through me, he is holding your hands through me, he is hugging you through me, he is kissing you through me, he is loving you through me!" At the last word, Akane raises the volume of her voice and tears up. The redhead can see that she is trying her best to hold the tears back in. Seeing this makes Akashi feels a tinge of guilt but it disappears as soon as how it appears. After what seems like forever, Akane speaks up.

"I'm asking, no, I'm begging you. Please, if Kise ever confesses his love to you, please, reject him." At this point, the petite model can't hold her tears back anymore and they start rolling down her cheeks. "Please, I can't…I just can't be without him…I love him too much…" Akane manages to say between her sobs.

Akashi takes out a handkerchief from his pocket and offers it to the girl with tears filling her eyes.

"Stop crying, I don't want people to think that I make a girl cries." Although his words are harsh, the tone of his voice is gentle and his eyes soften as they look at Akane. "It sucks when someone you have feelings for doesn't share those feelings. I know you are upset but aren't you being selfish by asking me to reject Kise's love? Do you want to make him sad and miserable like you are now? Is this your definition of love? Because you know, sometimes, love is about letting go."

"Are you trying to tell me that you love Kise too? That's why you are trying to get me to give up on him?" With a tear stained face, the petite model grabs Akashi's arm and questions him. The redhead flinches at the sudden contact, he frowns and removes the hand on his arm.

"What I'm trying to say is," the air around Akashi changes, Akane can feel it, "don't be a selfish little bitch. The guy doesn't love you, move on because you look pathetic crying over some guy who doesn't have feelings for you."

Upon hearing this, Akane is too shocked to respond. One moment ago, Akashi was so nice and gentle, offering his handkerchief to her and comforting her. The next moment, he turns into a mean and foul mouthed person. It's like he turns into a totally different person. It might be her imagination, it might be not but for an instance, Akane catches a hint of yellow in Akashi's left eye.

"If you are finished talking, I will take my leave now. Think about I said." And the redhead strolls back in the school leaving a somehow confused, and maybe angry, girl behind him.

_So this is the type of person that Kise is in love with? Like hell I'm going to give him up to someone like this. Just you wait Akashi, I'm going to make Kise fall in love with me._

Little does Akashi know, on that day, he awakens a monster.


	8. Chapter 8

He can smell it in the air. The moisture. He can feel it too. The drop in temperature. The wind occasionally passes through and caresses his hair. The clouds lazily drift in the sky and show their black faces to the world, it seems like they are in a bad mood today.

"It's going to rain." Akashi mumbles as he is looking out of the open window _._  It is the last lesson of the day and based on the noise level, everyone is eager to go home.

 _I didn't bring an umbrella but it's so troublesome to share one._  The redhead thinks lazily as the bell rings; in his peripheral vision, he can see his classmates packing their bags and hurry home before it starts raining. _It's funny how people are willingly to get wet under a shower but not under a rain._ The first drop of rain falls, within 5 minutes later it is raining cats and dogs. Akashi sits in the empty classroom contemplating on whether should he wait for the rain to stop or just go home right now before it gets heavier. Seeing how the rain isn't going to stop soon, the redhead chooses the latter option. However, it seems like he wouldn't be able to go home soon for he just remembers he has some student council's work to do. Sighing to himself, Akashi pulls out a file and starts to filling in information. It takes him half an hour to finish everything, the rain still continues and as if to tease him, a thunder is heard loud and clear from where Akashi is. Teiko's basketball captain swiftly packs his bag and makes his way downstairs. After putting on his shoes, Akashi takes a look at the school ground. Not a single soul. The sound of raindrops on the ground drowns out his thoughts of wanting an umbrella. Deciding not to care anymore, the redhead casually walks into the rain. He doesn't break into a jog like how most people would, he just walks at a normal pace. Somehow, the redhead likes the feeling being drenched under the rain, the feeling of cold water on his face and body, he knows his body would soon be numb with cold and he wouldn't be able to feel and he  _likes_ it_to be able not to feel. Then from behind, the redhead hears hurried footsteps approaching him.

"AKASHI! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WALKING UNDER THE RAIN?! YOU ARE GOING TO CATCH A COLD!" The voice laced with worry, care and a hint of anger. The next thing Akashi knows is a jacket is placed above his head and a hand now grabbing his, pulling him towards the direction of a nearest shelter. Even without looking up, the redhead can recognise who it is by the voice. Kise pulls his captain towards a playground and they take shelter in a small plastic toy house which its height is half of Kise's; they can't even stretch their legs in the house. Kise sits cross-legged while Akashi sits hugging his legs. The smell of rain is strong but the redhead can only smell Kise's cologne from his jacket, it wraps around him and engulfs him in it.

"Are you cold?" The blond asks as he reaches for Akashi's hand, it feels like ice.

"I am, a bit." The redhead admits while hugging his legs closer to his body. The place where Kise touched him feels like it is on fire. It burns him. Akashi doesn't know or aware of how it happens but Kise's arms are now wrapping around him and he is sitting comfortably between the blond's legs. Lying his head on the taller boy's chest, Akashi can hear the fast beating of his heart and the smell of cologne is getting stronger now. Red orbs stare into yellow ones. Feelings that would not take form of words. Confused thoughts. Frustrated longings. Unrealised hopes. Akashi is numb from the cold, he can't register his thoughts clearly anymore. He is drown in a sea of emotions that he himself can't fathom. Next thing he knows, Akashi is locking lips with Kise. The blond's hands which placed on the redhead's waist pull in, making their bodies closer to each other. Akashi's hands are cupping both sides of Kise's face, feeling his existence under the now cold fingertips. The redhead moans inside Kise's mouth when the blond moves and their crotches rub against each other. Akashi can feel Kise smirking against his lips. As the copycat player is sucking and (gently) biting on the redhead's neck, leaving obvious marks behind; Akashi glances down and thinking to himself, no, asking himself.  _Why am I letting a guy doing this kind of things to me? Will I let anyone do it but I hate when others touch me without permission._ Then at that moment, Akane's voice is echoed in his mind, her words from their last conversation:  _ **Are you trying to tell me that you love Kise too?**_

Suddenly, everything makes sense. Pulling himself away from Kise, he takes a long look at the boy who managed to stir up a pool of emotions in him that he didn't know they even exist.

"I don't like this." Akashi's voice is just above a whisper.

"You don't like…me doing this kind of things to you?" Kise's body becomes stiff.

"No, I don't like how you make me feel." The redhead pauses, trying to register his thoughts into words. "I am experiencing all these new yet weird emotions and truly to be honest, it  _frightens_ me because I don't feel like I'm in control of my own thoughts. Haha, just by the fact I'm sitting here telling you this is so unlike me, don't you agree?" Akashi laughs dryly. Kise is taken aback by Akashi's words. This is the first time he sees Akashi being…human? This is the first time Akashi shows a weak side of him. This is the first time Akashi  _actually_  shares his feelings and thoughts. It makes the blond happy and what makes him happier is the fact he is the cause to this.  _Does this mean Akashi is actually feeling something for me? Then maybe I should…_

"I'm in love with you." Kise whispers, carefully searching Akashi's eyes. He looks very pale and very scared and a little…hopeful. Silence. The only sound can be heard is the rain.

"You have a girlfriend." The redhead says after a good few minutes.

"I'll break up with her."

"I don't know if I'm ready for this, Kise. I don't want to develop more weird feelings…I don't want to lose control of my thoughts and myself."

"I know, that's why I'm not asking you to answer me now." The blond takes Akashi's hand and kisses the inner palm. "I'll wait because there's a reason that people like you and I find each other. Maybe it's god, maybe it's fate. But I know it's not an accident that I found you." Kise murmurs while holding the redhead's hand close to his cheek.

"Or maybe it's basketball."

"Stop it, I'm trying to be romantic over here." They both laugh and Kise is glad that the atmosphere is normal, not awkward like he thought it is going to be when a boy confesses to another.

"What are you thinking about now?" Still smiling, Akashi asks.

"Kissing you." Kise replies and gives a half smirk to which Teiko's basketball captain finds it so sexy.

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Smirking like that, do you know how sexy you look right now? It makes me want to push you down and eat you up." Akashi bends down and brushes his lips over Kise's ear.

"Now you know how I feel about you all the time." The blond playfully says while putting his arms around the shorter boy's waist and pulling him closer. Their eyes meet when Kise turns his head to the side, they kiss. It is just a soft kiss on the lips, lasted for 5 seconds or so but so far, it is the best kiss that Kise has ever experienced. Because Akashi smiles, a real smile, after they part and Kise swears he will do anything to see that smile on Akashi's face again.

"Don't make me wait too long okay?" The copycat player kisses his captain's forehead.

"I'll try." Comes the reply. It is full of uncertainty but also full of affection. Or you can say maybe a hint of love, too.


	9. Chapter 9

"Hey, did you see that?"

"See what?"

"That, over there on his neck."

"Oh my god! I thought everyone was joking but it is REAL!"

"I didn't believe it at first either but even after seeing it with my own eyes, I still find it hard to believe."

"I wonder who did that?"

In case you are wondering what is  _that_ , well, it is a hickey also known as love bite or kiss mark. Oh and  _he_  here would be Akashi Seijuurou. With that said, having seen a  _ **hickey**_  on Akashi's neck, for Teiko's students, is the discovery of the century. The cold, handsome top student who always gives off a don't-touch-me-you-peasants vibe around him, now, has a hickey on his neck. Of course, with his looks and academic result, countless of girls have tried to be together with him but Akashi rejected them all. Even the prettiest girl in school couldn't get him so when there is a hickey appeared on Akashi's neck, it becomes the talk of the school.

"I bet his girlfriend did that, she must be super pretty."

"And wild too, look at the size of that hickey man."

"Plus the place hahaha, she must be super protective leaving a huge hickey there, there is no way you can cover that."

"Do you think it's Rena-senpai? She is so sexy."

"Hmm I think Akashi will go for brains instead of looks. I place my bet on Keiko-chan, cute and smart and well mannered. Sounds like someone Akashi would go for. What about you, Kise? Who do you think Akashi's girlfriend is?"

His group of friends has been at this topic since morning and Kise is now drenched in cold sweat.

"Haha I have no idea…" The blond laughs weakly.  _"Wild", "super protective", "huge hickey", if they know I'm the one who did that, I'm so dead. Plus all the girls in school will kill me, too._

"Talking about girlfriend, Kise, how are you and Akane-chan? I never see her at the school gate these few days."

"We are fine. She is just busy with work you know, being a model and all."

Actually it's not the truth, Kise asked Akane to stop coming to his school for he wants to reduce chances of the two redheads meeting each other. For some unknown reasons, his instinct tells him that something bad is going to happen if these two meet.

* * *

 _Ah that Kise really overdid it with this gigantic kiss mark on my neck._ Akashi sighs to himself while staring at the impossible-to-cover hickey in the mirror. Running his fingers on it, he finds his lips move upwards. The hickey is there, trying to tell everyone else that Akashi belongs to someone now. He  _ **belongs**_  to someone now. Then the redhead frowns. No, he doesn't belong to Kise. He doesn't like the idea of him being controlled by someone else. If it is so, why for a brief moment there, Akashi actually felt happy that he somehow  _belongs_  to Kise?  _Why indeed, I wonder…_

* * *

Akane really doesn't know how to feel right now. Anger? Disappointment? Sadness? Or a blend of these emotions? She knew the reason behind Kise's request of her not coming to his school. Akane feels with growing certainty that she might lose Kise to Akashi soon if she doesn't act quickly. Every nerves and cells in Akane's body scream 'dangerous!' whenever she thinks of Akashi. The aura emits from him is akin to a blood thirst predator.  _He is definitely not good news. The way he behaves is too peculiar. He changes his mood too fast; one moment he is gentle and nice, the next he just turns into a mean and sadistic asshole. It is as if there are two different persons inside of him…_ The redhead recalls their last meeting.  _Akashi is not a good influence on Kise. He is a deadly illness that quietly gnaws away a person's spirit from the core. If I let Kise spends too much time with this walking illness, he soon will be infected._

The petite model bites on her fingernails while thinking hard on how she could possibly separate her boyfriend from his basketball captain. She knows Kise has feelings for the evil redhead so it would be difficult in convincing Kise to stay away from Akashi. On the other hand, Akashi himself  _might_  be in love with Kise (based on their last conversation) so it would be even more difficult for her to separate they two.  _This is like a love triangle except that my rival is a guy ha ha ha how funny._  Akane thought bitterly to herself while checking her phone to see whether is there any new message from Kise. 0 message.  _If the two of them have mutual feeling, very likely they will get together and I won't stand a chance by then. I must do something now when I'm still Kise's girlfriend. But then again, even if they are together, they would keep it as a secret because if people were to know a famous model and an honour student who are both guys are together, for sure they would receive criticisms. I wouldn't want to expose their relationship too because I don't want Kise to face hate from others._

Wrecking her brain to think of a solution to this difficult love triangle riddle, Akane sighs in defeat; the task sure is hard for her.  _Mao Zedong once said you find your opponent's weak point and make the first move with a concentrated attack. But the point here is I can't even find any weak point. If only I know more of Akashi's friends then maybe I can try asking…_ Lost in her thoughts, Akane doesn't pay attention to her surrounding and bumps into something, or rather someone. The collision makes her loses balance and she is on the verge of falling down when suddenly a hand grabs her arm and pulls her back up.

"Are you ok?" A voice softly asks.

"Ah yes I'm fine! Thank you!" Regains her composure, Akane looks up to face her saviour but to her surprise, there is no one there. "Ehhhh? Why, how come, I thought some…someone grabs my arm? Eh?!"

"Umm, sorry you drop this." The same voice speaks again.

Akane's eyes focus at the source of the voice and finds herself staring at a pale boy with icy blue eyes and hair of same colour.  _Who…who is this guy?! He just appeared out of thin air!_ Still stunned by the stranger's sudden presence, the redhead doesn't know how to react.

"Umm, your student card, you drop it." The bluenette speaks again as he shows Akane the object in his hand.

"Ah…yes…that's my student card…thank you…" Akane hesitantly retrieves the card from the stranger's hand when she notices the logo on his school uniform.  _Teikou?_

"Well then, good bye and have a nice day." The boy bows and as he is about to leave, the petite model blocks his way.

"Urm, are you free at the moment for a drink? I want to express my gratitude for helping me from falling down and picking up my student card."  _Of course the chance of him knowing Akashi is slim, there are hundreds of students in Teikou anyway. However, no matter how slim the chance is, I can't let it pass._ "Please, I will feel bad if I couldn't do anything to thank you." Flashing her model smile, Akane hopes luck will be by her side today and this Teikou's student will accept her invitation. After a minute of silence, he finally speaks.

"If it is so then…could you buy me a vanilla milkshake?"

"Of course no problem! Let's go over there then." Pointing to a nearby fast food restaurant, the two teens make their way there. After buying their drinks, they sit at a table near the window. Akane's head is swarming with questions that she needs answers. Before she could ask the bluenette anything, he beats her to it.

"If it is ok with you, I wanted to ask you a question." His voice is as soft as ever.

"Yes, I'm fine. You can ask me anything." The petite model replies curiously.

"Are you related to anyone by the name Akashi Seijuurou? Because you look very similar to him."

Upon hearing this question, Akane smiles inwardly. "You know Akashi-kun?"

"Yes, I'm from the same basketball team as him." Sipping his vanilla milkshake, the boy stares at the girl in front of him and repeats his question in a monotone. "So, are you related to Akashi-kun?"

 _Luck is definitely by my side today._ "No, I'm not but you could say that I'm related to Akashi-kun in…a different way, not by blood." Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, Akashi's doppelganger leans in front and tilts her head slightly to the right in a cute manner. "My name is Akane Sena. What is yours?"

"I'm Kuroko Tetsuya." The boy replies with his monotone again and looks at Akane with big blue eyes that seem to reflect no emotion.

"Say, Kuroko-kun, can I ask you a few questions?" The redhead smiles cutely. "About Akashi-kun, if you don't mind."


	10. Chapter 10

Kuroko has been staring at his captain ever since practice starts and he makes no attempt to hide it. The basketball team members are looking at the phantom player looking at the devil captain and questioning themselves what on earth is happening right now.

"Oi, Tetsu, what are you doing?" Aomine nudges his partner.

"I'm observing Akashi-kun." Comes the reply.

"Yea yea we can all see that. The real question here is DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH?!" Teikou's basketball ace whispers rather loudly into the small blue haired boy's ears. Ignores the warning, Kuroko continues to stare (or in his word, observe) at a certain redhead across the court. Kise notices this and he is feeling rather irritated. Why does Kuroko suddenly take an interest in Akashi? Why does he keep staring at Akashi? And why doesn't Akashi do something about it? It is pretty obvious that Akashi is aware of Kuroko's intense eyes on him. These are questions floating on Kise's mind throughout practice. You could say that practice session on that day isn't very productive with Kise keeping an eye on Kuroko while Kuroko staring at Akashi and the rest of the team observe this scene.

As soon as practice ends, Kise turns on his heels and jogs towards his captain. However, before he even reaches the redhead, someone beats him to it. Nonetheless, it is Kuroko. The copycat player halts on the spot and observes them from afar. Kuroko speaks something to Akashi, Akashi nods then says something back to Kuroko and then both of them go to the locker room joining the rest of the team there. Kise watches without saying or doing anything but there is a lot of questioning about Kuroko's offbeat behaviour that Kise is dying to find out why. For now, he chooses to ignore it since he doesn't want to behave oddly in front of the team.

While most of the basketball team members have already left, there are four people remain behind in the locker room.

"Tetsu, let's head back!" Aomine swings his arm around Kuroko's shoulder and drags the boy towards the exit door.

"You go back first Aomine-kun, I don't feel like going back together with you today." The bluenette says nonchalantly.

"Hah? What are you saying? Did I do something to make you angry? Don't scare me man."

"I'm just joking Aomine-kun, I'm staying back to discuss something with Akashi-kun so you go back first." A monotone.

"…Like I said Tetsu; don't scare me." This earns him a blow in the stomach causing by Kuroko's elbow. Also, a gaze that makes Aomine unconsciously protects his neck with his hands, fearing for his dear life. Needless to say, only Akashi Seijuurou is capable of such talent, making people fearing for their dear lives (with just a glance).

"Kurokochii, don't let me go home alone with Ahominechiiiiiiii." Kise whines.  _Why are they staying back alone? I can't ask them directly, it would be weird._

"Hey! I told you to stop calling me that!" The tanned player grumbles loudly and smacks the blond on his head.

"See! See! He is abusing me! Save me, Akashichii!" Kise quickly runs and hides behind the redhead like how a puppy hides behind its owner hoping it would be protected from other bigger dogs.

"Aomine, stop hitting your teammate or else I will double your training menu. Kise, walking home together is a good bonding activity with your fellow teammate, you should do it." Akashi gives out his commands then looks at them with a what-are-you-waiting-for-hurry-up-and-carry-out-my-orders-or-else-i-will-make-you-reconsider-your-existence-on-earth stare. Knowing it is better to not anger their captain, both players make a beeline to the exit.

"Urgh, that Akashi really knows how to scare the shit out of us." Aomine says while he and Kise are walking across the schoolyard.

"Do you know why are they staying back?" Kise wants to add 'alone together' but decides not to. He doesn't want his voice to sound…jealous.

"Who knows?" Teiko basketball's ace shrugs his shoulders.

"So you met a girl named Akane?"

A nod.

"She asked me a few questions about you, Akashi-kun."

"Did she?" Akashi squints his eyes. Kuroko is sitting next to him and recalling his conversation with Akashi's doppelganger.

"Things like how is your reputation in school, your family background, your grades, your circle of friends-" The bluenette suddenly pauses.

Hearing the hesitation in Kuroko's voice, Akashi urges him on. "What else did she ask?"

"…She asked whether do you have spilt personalities or any signs showing that you have."

 _Hmm, what a busy body_. "So, what did you answer?"

"I answered what I know about you to all the questions she asked. For the last one, I said I'm not sure since I can't read your mind."

Upon hearing this, Akashi chuckles a little. "Well, I think we will all be in trouble if you can really read minds, Kuroko. Imagine the amount of vanilla milkshakes you demand us in your blackmails."

"Thanks Akashi-kun, I take that as a compliment." Kuroko replies with a blank expression as always. "So, who is she?"

"Someone unimportant." Akashi smiles.  _Someone who needs to be taught a lesson from me. A weed that needs to be plucked._ "Anyway, Kuroko, can I ask you a favour?"

The bluenette looks at his captain with his head slightly tilts to the side as a cue to go on.

"Can I kiss you?"

Silence.

"I'm sorry, can you repeat your question?"

"Can I kiss you?" This time, slower and clearer.

"…Akashi-kun, is this a punishment for passing out during our training today?"

"No, Kuroko. This is an experiment. I need to confirm something so will you help me?" Seeing the hesitation in Kuroko's eyes (not that you can read any emotion on his face), the redhead adds, "I'll treat you to a cup of vanilla milkshake at your favourite place."

"Promise?" Kuroko speaks after some consideration.

"Do I ever go against my words?"

"We have a deal then." The bluenette nods and closes his eyes waiting for Akashi.

It's just a light peck; their lips touch for no longer than a few seconds. They both look at each other in awkward silence after the kiss.

"As I thought, it felt disgusting to kiss another guy." The redhead muses while frowning.

"Akashi-kun, I want 2 cups of vanilla milkshake." Kuroko responds back then swiftly stands up, making his exit with a 'see you on monday Akashi-kun.'

 _I felt good when I kissed Kise. As I thought, not anyone will do; only Kise will._ Sighing to himself at his newly discovered fact, Akashi takes his bag and leaves the locker room.  _Guess I really do like Kise._

* * *

"Akashichii!"

 _Talking about the devil._  "Why are you still here? I thought you went home with Aomine?" The redhead asks upon reaching the school gate.

"I…I want to walk home together with you so I waited." Kise says with a slight hint of red on his cheeks.

 _Cute._ "Let's go then." Akashi can't help but smiles inwardly; Kise is just like a puppy, so cute and so loyal.

They walk side by side, their hands occasionally brush pass each other. Kise just wants to reach out, hold that hand and intertwine their fingers together. Or leans down and kisses those lips. Or does both.

"Akashichii, do you want to visit my house? It's near here." The blond blurts out unconsciously; when he realises what he just does, the heat on his face is out of control and he just wants to bury a hole on the ground and hide himself there.

"Hmmm I don't mind." Comes the answer.

It takes Kise ten seconds to register what the redhead just said. "Huh? What? Akashichii, what did you just say?"

"I said I don't mind unless you change your mind." The shorter boy looks up at the now flustered blond. "So? Are we going to your house or not?"

"Of…of course! Let's go, it's right over there!" The model hopes he doesn't sound too happy about it but inside he is doing all sorts of black flips and praising the god of love.

Kise's house has 3 floors and a backyard with an oak tree standing proudly sheltering the flowerbeds below it. The house is (of course) smaller compares to Akashi's mansion but it is spacious and gives off a homely vibes, something that the redhead's mansion can never be able to achieve.

"My parents aren't back from work yet and my sister is out with her friends so I guess we are alone." Kise says over his shoulder while they are climbing the stairs up to his room.

"Oh, I see."  _Kise is cunning, isn't he? He definitely knew no one is home that's why he invited me over._  Akashi can't help but smirk at how obvious the blond is, how he is able to read him like a book.

The first thing catches Akashi's attention when he steps inside Kise's room is a painting of the sun hanging above a queen size bed. The colours used in the painting are bright and colourful; they somehow reflect Kise's characteristics, cheerful and energetic.

"That was given to me by a fan," Kise stands behind Akashi and now admiring the painting with him, "it's really beautiful, isn't it?"

"You are just like the sun you know? Shining brightly and brightens up everyone's life." The redhead muses while putting his bag down and sitting on the bed.

"You really think so? Well if I'm the sun then I like to think of you as the moon."

"The moon?" Akashi raises a brow.

"You see, the sun is there to lighten up everyone's life but I believe the moon is more important because it brightens your way in the darkest hour." Kise smiles softly and puts a strand of red hair behind his captain's ear.

Akashi can detect the sadness in his voice. Kise has always appeared to be this carefree person with a bubbly personality. He is in fact always seem to be happy all the time that  _maybe_  when he is sad, no one is really there for him, in his darkest hour. Akashi reaches out his hands and wraps them around the taller boy's head, pulling him down so now their faces are inches apart.

"I'll be your moon then." He breathes on Kise's lips.

"Kiss me." His voice is just above a whisper. For the first time in his life, Akashi complies with another person's order easily. He leans forwards and captures Kise's lips in one swift movement. Digging his fingers into blond locks, Akashi pulls Kise down with him on the bed while still locking lips with the model. From the way how Kise nibbles on his lips and moves his tongue inside Akashi's mouth, the redhead knows for sure the copycat player is very experienced in kissing. Thinking of the number of girls he had probably kissed to be this good makes Akashi feels a tint of jealousy. The red head pulls back and sees a flash of disappointment in Kise's yellow orbs. But just like how fast it appears, it disappears the next moment; replacing it now is an endearing look directs towards none other than Akashi Seijuurou.

"You are so beautiful, inside and out. Oh god, you are making me falling for you more and more." The model lies on top of the redhead and buries his head next to Akashi's neck.

"You are heavy." The smaller boy complains but makes no attempt to push him off. Kise turns his head and trails his gaze from the redhead's side profile to his slender neck. There on the pale skin is a hickey that is fading in colour. Kise places his lips on that spot and gently bites it. Akashi flinches at the sudden feeling of teeth on his skin, he now feels Kise's wet tongue over that patch of skin.

"What're you doing?" The redhead asks amusedly while playing with the taller boy's hair.

"The mark is fading so I'm making it more obvious." Kise announces while looking satisfied at his "creation" and engulfs Akashi in a tight hug. "Even though you are not mine yet, I want everyone to know that you have  _someone_  on your mind now so they will stop eyeing you."

"And I thought I'm the possessive freak." The redhead playfully comments.

Kise shifts his position so now the both of them are lying on their sides. He kisses the smaller boy's head and murmured. "No, you are  _my_ moon."

Akashi inhales in the familiar cologne scent, the same scent Kise wore on that rainy day. Resting his head on the blond's muscular chest, Akashi closes his eyes with these words on his lips, "And you are my sun."

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Kuro Fes interview - Fujimaki sensei**

" _\- but in my mind, Kise is a person who only affable to those he admitted & feel worthy after measuring with his own eyes. Other than that, he is usually _ _ **cold-hearted**_ _. I've recognized him who has_ _ **two faces**_ _. He is not completely good-boy, you know."_

Hehe so this is what Fujimaki himself said about Kise, with that in mind expect some interesting sides of Kise from my story okay guys ^^

* * *

Midorima is the first one to notice the sudden changes in how Akashi behaves sometimes. Or how his speech changes its style. Or how there is a glint of yellow in his left eye whenever these sudden changes occur. Being the vice captain, he spends a considerable amount of time with the redhead so it wouldn't be strange for him to notice  _things_  about his captain. And  _things_  here including how Akashi's gaze will soften when it lands on a certain someone. Or how his fingers linger longer than usual on that person's arm. Or how Akashi smelt like that person's cologne when Midorima walked past him in the school hallway the other time. Initially, Midorima didn't think much of it but on that day when he witnessed the emotions Kise had in his eyes while Akashi was talking to Kuroko, their faces were at a close distance; Midorima knows there is something between his captain and the copycat player. The green haired boy still shivers whenever he recalls the look Kise had, it was possessive, dark and dangerous. Who could have known out of all people,  **Kise Ryouta**  is capable of having that kind of look.  _Jealously is sure a scary thing._  Teiko's basketball vice captain concludes while pushing up his spectacles.

* * *

Kise wants to break things off with Akane but Akashi asks him not to. This upsets Kise. 'We can use her as a cover; you don't want people to start spreading rumours about us right? Plus if my father ever catches wind of this, I'm not sure what he would do to me and  _you_ ' was what Akashi told him but the reason why Kise is upset is because of what Akashi added afterward; 'Beside, we are not a couple.' Yes, it's true that the redhead hasn't give Kise an answer for his confession but he thought after all what they had done  _together_ , their relationship is somewhat similar to being a couple.  _Maybe Akashi is just using me for his own entertainment and satisfaction in the mean time; when he gets bored, he will go on living his perfect life pretending that none of this actually happened._   _While I'll probably lying on my bed and be devastated over it for months._ The blond frowns.  _As if I'll let him go so easily! He is my moon after all. (*)_

"-se! Kise!" The sudden call of his name snaps Kise out of his own thoughts and back to the studio of SEDA magazine where he is currently doing a photo-shoot.

"Yes?" Kise replies.

"I said get ready for your shoot with Akane." The photographer says with a rather irritated look on his face, possibly because Kise was being distracted earlier.

They are doing a cover page shot for SEDA, one of the most popular magazines among teen girls in Japan. It seems that Kise and Akane's relationship is quite well known considering both of them are famous models. Fans of both sides want to know more of their love story and thus, SEDA sees this as an opportunity to sell their magazines. Therefore, they contact Kise and Akane's managers, offering to feature them on the magazine cover page if they agree to do an interview on their relationship. Of course, the managers couldn't say no to this golden opportunity; this is SEDA, their models would definitely become more popular and yes, this means more job opportunities equal to more money. So here Kise is, standing next to his girlfriend ready to pose for pictures. Akane is looking as gorgeous as always; red hair curls up nicely in beautiful waves. She is wearing a 1980s vintage dress, maroon in colour with checked patterns, which touches her knees. Her face normally is beautiful but with the professional make up on, she looks breathtakingly gorgeous. Kise has his hair in a comb back style, wearing a black v neck t-shirt with maroon blazer outside – matching colour with Akane's outfit.

"Kise pulls Akane closer, Akane places your hand on his chest. Now, Kise look at Akane. Akane look here, at the camera. Nice! Keep that position." The photographer gives out instructions while continuously clicking a button on his DSLR capturing photos.

No matter how many times Kise looks at Akane, he still can't believe there is someone that resembles Akashi so so much. And because of this, it pains him for he is treating her nicely as whenever he is looking at her, Akashi will unconsciously appear on his mind and before he knows it, Kise is treating Akane like how he would with Akashi. The blond knows this is unfair for the girl but he can't help it like now how he can't help but sees Akane as Akashi again. Bending down, Kise places a soft kiss on top of the petite model's head and hears a surprise gasp from her.

"Good, Kise. Keep it up. Just act naturally like how you two would." The photographer continues as the sound of clicking button never seems to cease. Of course, Akane is a smart girl so she notices. She knows it is not her that he is kissing, she knows it is her hair that attracts him more than she herself.  _Do you love him that much to even love things that resemble him?_  Chuckling to herself, the redhead contemplates thoughts that were on her mind for days. With the clicking sound of the camera, the gentle hand of Kise around her waist, the soft eyes looking at her with fondness and a bit pity; Akane decides to do it.

"Kise, I think we should break up."

They have finished their shoot plus interview and are now in a changing room. Kise is leaning against the door while Akane is sitting on the only sofa in the room. After a full minute, the blond model finally processes what he just hears. This doesn't feel like any of his usual breakups. He actually feels tense and nervous. Remaining on his spot, Kise asks.

"Why?"

"I think…I don't feel that you  _really_  love me for who I am…" Akane replies softly while looking up at Kise.

The words sting him because she is telling the truth. He feels a pang of guilt in his chest. He isn't able to look at her without feeling like a biggest asshole on earth so Kise decides to avert her eyes.

"So I guess this is the end?" It's strange, a tinge of sadness is spreading in the blond. He guesses after all, at some point he really does like her.

"Well we still need to pretend to be together for the sake of this magazine cover, don't we?" Akane laughs dryly, Kise joins her with an awkward chuckle. "But I want us to remain as friends…will that be ok?"

"Yea, of course. So we're good?" The blond sheepishly asks, they are both models so they will frequently meet each other for work thus he doesn't want to have a sour relationship with her.

"Yes, we are." Akane nods then smiles afterward to reassure Kise.

Since their spilt up must be kept as a secret until the next magazine issue is out, the number of people who know about it is very limited. The first person is, needlessly to say, Akashi Seijuurou. Kise told him on the day itself. The second person surprisingly is Aomine Daiki. This is due to the constant nagging from him trying to get the blond to introduce his cute girlfriend to the team thus out of irritation, Kise slips his mouth revealing the fact they aren't together anymore. The third person is Kuroko Tetsuya. 'I was here the whole time' is what he responds after both the tanned and copycat player scream out of surprise when Kuroko voices out his opinions on Kise's recent break up.

* * *

"So there is no one between us now…Akashichii what do you say, will you be my boyfriend?" Balancing his head on top of the boy who is sitting in his lap reading a book, Kise expectantly asks. The redhead ignores him while continues flipping his book to the next page. Pouting, Kise pulls Akashi closer to his chest; arms hug him tightly at the waist, head burrows next to the crook of the shorter boy's neck.

"How long are you planning to make me wait?" His breath feels hot against Akashi's skin, Kise starts to place kisses along the redhead's neck. Unconsciously, Akashi leans his neck to the side giving the blond more access. He hums in pleasure when the blond nibbles on a certain spot. Kise slowly drags his lips to the corner of the redhead's mouth then he hovers them inches away from Akashi's ones. The blond playfully teases him with occasional brushes. Each time his lips brush pass Akashi's, a soft whimper emits from the smaller boy's throat, his hands clutching tightly to Kise's arms which place on his waist, the book long forgotten lying on the floor.

"You're such a tease." Akashi grumbles after the 4th brush. Turning his body behind, with one hand grabbing on Kise's shirt collar the redhead pulls him closer forcing their lips to collide rather painfully. However, neither of them seems to care. Kise pushes his tongue inside Akashi's mouth coaxing the redhead's tongue to play with his. His captain responds back to the invitation by swirling his tongue around the tip of the other's while hands painfully grab the blond hair. Akashi sucks the taller boy's tongue then moves down to bite on his bottom lip. Kise hisses at the pain, he tastes metal; the redhead is now licking at the blood. Somehow, this reminds him of the first kiss they shared in the library. Usually when they kiss, Kise would take the lead because he is more experienced based on the number of relationships he has been in. However, sometimes Akashi would lead instead and whenever he does, Kise remembers why he is the captain of Teiko's basketball team when he is only a year 2. That absolute confidence, that absolute dominance, that absolute aura. Don't get him wrong, he loves it when Akashi is clinging to him with eyes asking for more but this Akashi who is straddling him with eyes demanding for obedience, he loves it too.

The blond leans forward in an attempt to deepen their kiss but is rejected by a sudden pull of hair from Akashi. Holding his hair tightly to keep his head in that position, Akashi looks at Kise with eyes cast down. The blond shivers under that intense gaze_ there is a faint flint of yellow in his left eye.

"Who said you could kiss me anytime you like?" The grip in his hair grows tighter, "Or tease me?"

Akashi hovers his lips inches above the model's, brushing ever so lightly. Kise's stomach turns into knots, his heart beating in anticipation, his breathing becomes heavy. Akashi starts planting kisses all over the taller boy's face except for that one place.

"Please, Akashichii…" The model breathes out impatiently.

"Please what?" A playful smirk.

"I beg you please kiss me, on the lips. Anymore of this I'm going crazy!" Kise is dying to lean forward and capture those lips but the hand grabbing his hair and the intimidating gaze fixating on him don't give him a chance to do so.

"You know what they say, always leave them wanting for more." Akashi brushes pass Kise's lips exactly like how the blond did to him earlier, "Go crazy then, fill your thoughts with only me, think of no one else but me. I want to see your devotion to me."  _Because I'm in love with you. I love the way you kiss me. I love the way your hands place around my waist. I love the way your tongue feels around mine. I love the way you absentmindedly circle your fingers on the back of my hand. I love the way you make me feel special. Oh god I love you so damn much but if you don't love me the same way that I love you, it'll pain me. So prove it, give me some security._

Akashi abruptly lets go of Kise's hair, "That's enough for today." He stands up then gathers his belongings afterward shutting the room door softly, leaving a rather confused and frustrated boy behind. Three minutes after Akashi left the room, Kise still hasn't move an inch from where he is. When the heat has die down, the only impression left is that faint glint of yellow in Akashi's left eye.

* * *

Being Teiko's top student as well as the president of student council, Akashi Seijuurou is smart enough to know Akane breaks up with Kise simply because she has a hidden motive. Based on their last conversation and Kuroko's encounter with her, it's evident that this girl doesn't have any intention on giving Kise up. Placing a shogi piece on the board in front of him, Akashi smiles inwardly.  _Let me see your next move, give me a good challenge. I'm waiting, Akane Sena._


	12. Chapter 12

He meets him in his dreams sometimes. Yellow eye pierces past his soul. Red eye burns him like a fire. Before this person, Akashi feels at ease but threatened at the same time.

  _Have you always been here, residing in my mind?_

 ** _Yes_**.

_Since the beginning?_

**_Yes_**.

_Why do you exist?_

**_Because you need me to survive in this harsh world._ **

_Will you take over my body soon?_

**_Only when you can no longer handle things._ **

_Who are you?_

**_I’m absolute._ **

* * *

 

 She shows up exactly like how Akashi calculates. It is so obvious what she is trying to do. One day in front of the school gate waiting for Kise, but it was the whole basketball team she was waiting for. With her bubbly personality and beautiful appearance, Akane befriended with everyone in a matter of time. Momoi seems to like her most since she can talk about fashion and other girly stuffs that none of the boys would get. Kise doesn’t like this whole situation, he feels awkward with his ex-girlfriend hanging around his close friends and in a close proximity to his potential future lover. He doesn’t want to witness anything bad to happen. Akashi doesn’t really care much. Everything is within his calculation; there is nothing Akane could do. But what Akashi doesn’t expect is the growth of his team members, the wrath of a broken hearted girl and lastly, himself.

Nothing escapes Akashi’s sharp eyes. Aomine’s sudden improved skills. Midorima’s analysed eyes on him. Kuroko’s uneasiness with Aomine. Murasakibara’s closeness with Akane. Kise’s growing love for him. He sees them all. He thinks of ways to deal with them. Everything is under control, under his calculation.

* * *

 

 It is on the day Murasakibara shows his first sign of defiance to Akashi during a match, the same day when his father reminds him the expectations, no, the duties of an Akashi; he seeks comfort in Kise. The redhead doesn’t want to rush things this way, he wants their relationship to slowly develops, he wants to enjoy every little things about Kise, he wants someone as beautiful as Kise would have a beautiful love as well. But the stress, the bottled up emotions, the heavy responsibilities, the never ending expectations; all of them make Akashi pulls Kise down and hungrily kisses him. Their bodies melt together on the bed. Kise kisses Akashi’s body all over, leaving marks everywhere, an act of possessiveness. Akashi wraps his fingers around blond hair and pulls them when he feels wet tongue on his dick. He burns the image of Kise with hair all messed up, eyes glazed with lust into his brain. Akashi’s fingernails leave red marks on Kise’s back whenever the blond thrusts in. He whispers Kise name like a mantra, a prayer to keep him sane. In his mind, he can see his other self observing them.

**_You can use this as a mean to escape but you can’t run away from your reality._ **

_I know._

**_You think that this boy may be the cure but he is the poison. He makes you have a weakness, him. And you are drinking in the poison so happily._ **

_Maybe it’s because I want a happy death._

_**It seems to me the time when you can’t no longer handle things is approaching soon.** _

“Ahhh! Kise, yes right there! More!” Akashi throws his head back and moans in pleasure when he feels Kise’s dick hits his prostrate. Kise presses open-mouthed kisses along his pale neck. Then, Akashi sees mismatched eyes staring at him. His other self closes the distance between them and places a kiss on his lips. ‘I’m taking over’ is the last thing Akashi hears before his vision turns black.

 

“Ryouta, lie down on your back.” Akashi whispers in Kise’s ear. The blond hardens up at the sound of his first name being called.

“Ah, you just got bigger.” The redhead licks at the blond’s ear then pushes him down so he is now on top. Akashi makes a show by sucking his middle finger while the other hand plays with his nipple. Kise gulps at the sight, his hips thrust forward but are immediately stopped by Akashi.

“You are not allowed to move unless I say so, _Ryouta_.” The smaller boy purrs. He then playfully rolls his hips and roams his hands all over Kise’s chest. The blond closes his eyes, his fists clench tightly at both sides. Seeing this, Akashi grabs Kise’s face to tilt it up, forcing his eyes to open in surprise.

“Look at me.” The redhead breathes out heavily while his hips starting to move, or what Kise would like to call, ride him. Akashi glances down at Kise in a way that leaves goose bumps all over the model’s body and causes his dick twitches inside Akashi. The blond sees a pair of mismatched eyes; one yellow, one red. He blames it on the room’s lighting and his possessiveness of wanting to imprint himself on Akashi. The redhead pushes a finger into Kise’s mouth, his eyes sparkle up at the sight of the blond sucking it.

“Tell me that I own you.” Akashi fastens his pace, sweat glistening on his skin.

“You own me.” Kise pants, his hands move to place them on the other’s hips. “Good boy.” Akashi increases his pace, he loves the look Kise is wearing right now. Full of pleasure, full of lust and of course, love. So needy. Kise Ryouta is so _fucking_ in love with Akashi Seijuurou.

When he regains his consciousness, Kise is fast asleep next to him. Akashi tries to stand up but he can feel his legs are giving out on him plus the aching in his hips is making the task even more difficult. _How many times did my other self do it with him?_ The room is in complete silence but the redhead can hear soft whispering. **_…ike it…won’t…._** It’s faint but it’s there. Akashi frowns in displeased, shuts his eyes in frustration and lets out sigh. _Father won’t like it. Yes I heard you loud and clear._ Never in his life, Akashi is feeling this way. He feels happy because he and Kise finally did it, make love not just fuck. He isn’t sure about whether it is the same when his other self did Kise. At the same time, he feels angry because he acted based on his emotions; never has he allowed his actions to be influenced by emotions, they are always carried out based on logic and reasoning. Then, he feels helpless. His father. Akashi can never let him find out.

* * *

 

 Murasakibara likes to hang out with Akane because first of all, she always gives him lots of sweets. Second of all, she always brings him to the nicest café with delicious cakes. Third of all, she looks like Akashi but her personality is different, she is a gentler version. Therefore, the purple giant likes to spend time with Akane. Maybe due to the fact he has been spending a huge amount of time with her, Murasakibara starts to see Akashi as weak. Akane is weak after all. She is so small and fragile, like he could crush her in any second. She can’t carry heavy stuffs and she bruises easily. Akane and Akashi look alike so it’s normal for Murasakibara to make the link. Especially since Akashi is slowly losing his authority toward Aomine. _Mine-chin might be the strongest now but I’m starting to feel stronger lately too~_

“What are you thinking about, Murasakibara-kun?”

“Hmm…that you are weak Akane-chin~~.”

“Ehhhh, I’m a girl so of course I’m not as strong as Murasakibara-kun, you know?” The redhead passes the purple giant a plate of strawberry flavoured cheesecake. A new branch of Hokkaido famous cheesecake has just opened and they agree to try it out together. Murasakibara gulps down the cake in one go.

“Aka-chin maybe is too…” The purple giant mutters while chewing.

“Pardon?” Akane looks up from her plate of matcha flavoured cheesecake.

“Hmmm this tastes good~ Can I have a bite from yours?”

“You mean the whole cake.” The model takes one last bite and pushes the plate to Murasakibara. “You can have it, I need to watch my weight anyway.”

 _Matcha flavoured cake._ “Akane-chin~, are you sure you aren’t related to Aka-chin~?”

Watching the boy in front of her chewing lazily, Akane sips her tea. “Maybe? That’s why if you are my friend, you need to protect Akashi-kun.”

“Only _weak_ people need protection.”

“Akashi-kun is not as strong as he appears to be you know. Everyone has weakness. I believe he isn’t an exception.” Akane flashes her dazzling model smile but there is a sinister feel behind it. Murasakibara licks the cream off his finger then moves to the counter to order more cakes.

“Now, won’t you tell me more about Akashi’s father when you are back.” The redhead drinks her tea and instantly frowns. _I don’t even like matcha._

* * *

 

 If Akashi Seijuurou knows having sex with Kise Ryouta would result in 1000 messages constantly checking up on his wellbeing and the never ending acts of affection making it way too obvious to ignore, Akashi would never have sex with him. He is glad that Kise cares about him but the blond is getting on his nerves for being too oblivious of the fact that there are others watching them. _Forget about keeping it a secret. If this keeps up, the whole world will know._ Akashi wants to tell Kise to behave himself numerous times but every _single_ time they are alone, they do it. Akashi likes the feeling of pleasure and temporary forgetting about his responsibilities. Kise likes the image of Akashi writhing underneath him and the way his name sounds on Akashi’s lips. Sometimes Kise, sometimes Ryouta. Akashi likes to think they are having a double suicide, him on the way to expose them to father, Kise on the way to expose them to the public. They will both die but at least they are not alone. What a twisted way of thinking.

_**You won’t die. Because if you do, I will cease to exist. I’ll help you to survive.** _

He forgets. It’s not a double suicide. It’s a triple suicide.

* * *

 

 “Don’t say such ridiculous things. There’s no way I could permit that.” Akashi reprimands Murasakibara when the giant expresses he wants to stop practicing since Aomine can do it.

“But I just feel like there’s no way I can lose right now~~” _He is talking back to you, he isn’t listening to you._

“And you know ~~~, the reason why I’ve been following Aka-chin all this time is because I felt that no matter what, I never could win against Aka-chin~ But recently, I’ve begun to feel…that maybe that isn’t the case~~.” The tone Murasakibara is using to speak to Akashi right now pisses him off.

“I don’t wanna listen to someone _weaker than me_.” Akashi can hear the blood boils in his ears. He can hear his other self’s taunting laugh too. **_You are weak._**

“…What did you say?”

 

Has he gone soft? Has he really become weaker? No matter how many times he tries to score, Murasakibara is there to stop him. The first to score 5 points will have the victory. His opponent has scored 4 now. Him? None. At this rate, Akashi will lose. Will he lose? For the first time? From the faces of people watching them, Akashi could see that’s what they are thinking. Kise looks like he is about to jump in and stop the match. Midorima cannot close his mouth due to the shock. Momoi looks like she is on the verge of tears. Everyone has prepared themselves to witness Akashi’s first defeat.

_**They all think you are weak. They all think you are going to lose.** _

“…Huh~ Is that all~? I though you’d be harder to beat…But I guess that’s it? Honestly, I’m a little…no, I’m really disappointed ~~”

_Disappointed? Disappointment? I don’t want to disappoint father. I don’t want to be a disappointment to him, to the Akashi household._

**_Yes, as an Akashi member, you can’t be a disappointment._ **

“Yeah, I don’t think I can listen to someone this weak. Nope~~”

  _Me? Weak?_

**_He is looking down on you. As an Akashi member, you should put him back to his place._ **

“Ah well, whatever~~Just like we promised, I’ll do whatever I want from now on~~”

_I…Akashi Seijuurou…am going to lose…?_

**_Then you’ll be the first loser in the Akashi household._ **

_No…something like that…I can’t let it happen!!_

_**Put him back to his place. You cannot lose. Let me help you.** _

_I must win._

**_Yes._ **

_No matter who my opponent is, **no matter what happens…** because otherwise, **wining is everything in this world.** The victors write history. **The losers are wiped from it.**_

**_You don’t want to be a loser, do you? Let me help you. Go rest for now. You need it. You have been working hard. I’ll take care from here. Goodnight, Akashi Seijuurou._ **

* * *

 

“I’ll kill anyone who opposes me even my own parents.” An icy cold tone laced with murderous intent, everyone on the court knows something isn’t right. Then Kise notices it. The blond sees a pair of mismatched eyes; one yellow, one red. This time, there is nothing wrong with the lighting. This time, Kise’s mind is clear. He cannot blame on anything. Akashi Seijuurou’s eyes are of different colours and the way they look at him; Kise’s heart freezes, he feels there is an empty hole stretching out from within and swallowing him whole. Akashi’s eyes looking at him…there is no love in them.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yasss Bokushi has finally made his appearance hehehe I know this is a super late update but I hope you guys enjoy it nonetheless ^3^ please shower me with love and support bc I'm a needy child and this fic is my baby and KiAka is so asgfeygcdbvjfvjas!!! Oh and the convo between Akashi & Murasakibara is based on KNB chapt 220 & 221.


	13. Chapter 13

“Akashichii?” Kise asks hesitantly as he approaches the redhead. Akashi simply glances at the blonde without stopping whatever he is doing at the moment. They are currently alone in the locker room. This reminds Kise of that day when he saw Akashi sleeping on the bench. He looked like an angel, so beautiful. Right now, the same beautiful Akashi is standing in front of him. However rather than looking like an angel, he looks more like a devil. His eyes are icy cold, reflecting no emotion. His gaze is calculative and you can’t help but feel small when he looks at you with those heterochromatic eyes.

“Ryouta, come here.” _He is calling me by my first name._ Slowly, Kise makes his way to Akashi. The blond can’t shake off the uneasy feeling he has and he most definitely can’t shake off the numb he felt when he saw Akashi’s eyes reflecting no love for him. Those crimson eyes that would look at him with warmth and endearment. Now, they are replaced with mismatched colours, gold and crimson. Now, they are cold.

“Who are you?” Kise asks as Akashi reaches out to hold his hand. The redhead smiles while intertwining his fingers together with the blond’s.

“The one you declare your love to, Akashi Seijuurou.” He softly kisses the blond’s palm and enjoys the conflicted look Kise wears on his face.

“Akashichii…”

“Ryouta, do you know that love is a temporary addiction to a person? Just like how a person could be addicted to a drug.” He releases Kise’s hand and walks over to take his bag from the locker. “Evidence shows that chemicals in your brain stimulated by another person can make you develop a habit for that person. The person comes to satisfy a physiological craving and you want more. But then sometimes, slowly or suddenly, you don’t. You have fallen out of love, no longer addicted.”

At this point, Kise knows what Akashi is trying to say. The blond cannot move, his heart thumping loudly in his ears. _Don’t! Don’t say it!_

“For me it’s suddenly. Kise Ryouta, I have fallen out of love with you.”

Kise finds it hard to breathe, he feels dizzy. The throb in his heart is unbearable. _Calm down, calm down._ Then the blond feels warmth on his cheeks. Are those tears?

“With this, I hope things are clear between us. Thank you for the memories, Ryouta.” _Thank you for making the other me knows what love is but we don’t have the luxury for that now._ Akashi approaches Kise, he reaches out to pull the blond down and places a soft kiss on his lips. “Good bye.”

* * *

 

 

Is this how heartbreak feels like? Is this how all the girls he had broken up with felt like? Kise wants to apologise to all of them because no one deserves to feel this way. This horrible, indescribable pain in his chest slowly spreading out occupying his entire body. How he wishes the chemicals in his brain would stop too. So that he could fall out of love with Akashi. But he knows it’s impossible. He is in too deep and now he’s stuck.

 

* * *

 

Akashi has expected Akane to find his father but he doesn’t expect this. Akane Sena, the daughter of Akane Jiirou whose stepfather is an influential politician. So basically, Akane is the step granddaughter of the current minister of economy and finance. Of course, there is no way his father would let such an opportunity to go by. That is why they are having dinner together at his household right now. Alone. ‘Make sure she likes you’ is what his father instructs him before he leaves for a meeting. _Father, sorry to disappoint you but she hates me._

“Let’s cut to the chase. What do you want?” Akashi demands.

“I want Kise Ryouta to be my boyfriend again. However, before that I want to make sure you stay out of my way.”

“Then you need not worry. You can have him for all you want.”

“Excuse me?”

“ _I_ was never in love with Kise Ryouta,” _it was the other me_ , “I don’t care whether you want to marry him or not, you can have him.”

This tone of voice, this cold manner of speaking; Akane recognises it. That day, in front of the school gate when she asked him to reject Kise’s love, she saw a flash of yellow in his eyes. Looking closely at the boy in front of her now, Akane realises his eyes are of different colours. A beautiful crimson and a mesmerising gold.

“You talk about Kise-kun as if he is a thing,” Akane stabs at her steak, “I don’t like it. It’s good that he has nothing to do with you now.”

“So is this your grand revenge?” Akashi slowly sipping on his water, “I was expecting something more. To be honest, I was quite disappointed.”

“I should be the one that is disappointed, I purposely gave you and him all that time together so you would fall in love with Kise-kun. That way, when I ask you to give him to me and you reject, I could tell your father all about this and watch you suffer.” The redhead chews her meat before continues. “But this is fine by me, too.”

“You said I talked about Ryouta as if he was a thing but listen to yourself, you are using him as a tool for revenge. This revenge is for both him and me. Because there is no way father would let Ryouta off.” Silence.

“You are no difference from me, Sena.” He smiles. “For that, let me tell you something good then. Ryouta loves it when you gently bite on his lower lip with just enough pressure to crack the skin. He also loves it when you pull his hair while sucking on his tongue.” The piercing glare he receives from Akane is what Akashi calls _entertainment_.

“A person like you will never achieve happiness in life.”

“I don’t need happiness when I have victory.”

 

* * *

 

_Time Skip to High School._

Occasionally, random things remind Kise of him. A geometry book lying on the table. A matcha drink from a café. A rain pouring down out of nowhere. All these small little things. After 4 years, he still can’t get over his love for Akashi. The blond had thought of dating Akane again because she looks so so much like Akashi. But he knew better, he didn’t want to use her. Akane since then has remained a good friend of his. She was so supportive during that period Kise would describe as his lowest point in life. He slowly got better but there is no way he can make his love for Akashi gone. To him, Akashi was his first real love. He was, no, he is and always will be special to Kise. If given a chance, Kise would gladly cut out his heart and offer it to Akashi if that’s what it takes to be together with the redhead. The first time he saw Akashi again in high school was at the Winter Cup. He recklessly swung a scissor around and injured Kagami. It was weird but Kise found him to be so beautiful. Dangerously beautiful. Not once did he spare a second glance at Kise. The number of times Kise saw Akashi after middle school can be counted on one hand. And each time, he cherished the moment, imprinting them in his mind. He can’t find himself giving up on Akashi.

 

“It can’t be…” _He_ is back. Kise trembles. On the basketball court, there is no mistake. Beautiful crimson eyes. _He_ is back! Without even knowing, Kise finds himself crying.

* * *

 

When his shoulder touches the other’s, Akashi doesn’t move away but Kise notices his grip on the chopsticks gets tighter. They are out at a restaurant; the Miracles Reunion is what Momoi called it. Everyone is having a great time. There is still some distance in the way the rest (except for Murasakibara) talk to Akashi but they are slowly warming up. Kise is glad.

“Akashichii, can I talk to you privately?” Kise whispers. Hesitation flashes in the redhead’s eyes. The blond knows it’s still too soon because Akashi just came back but he won’t get another opportunity like this.

“Alright.” The redhead stands up and goes out of the restaurant with an excuse of getting some fresh air. 10 minutes later, Kise leaves the table.

 

“I miss you.” Kise says as he sits next to Akashi on a bench. They have agreed to meet at a nearby playground. Surrounded by darkness with a streetlamp as the only source of light, the blond can’t really see what kind of expression the other is making right now.

“I love you. I still do…after all these years.” The moon is now peeking out under the dark clouds.

“You only love the easy version of me, the easy parts of me to love.” Akashi solemnly replies. “I know the other me pushed you away but where were you? I need you at that time and you, you just decided to leave me.”

“I’m sorry that I make you feel that way. I really tried my best but you were so cold and I was so young at that time and I just couldn’t bear the way things turned out between us…I’m sorry.” Kise takes a deep breath.

“I should apologise, too. For my behaviour-“

“-It’s not your fault. You can’t control this kind of thing. Your disorder, it’s complicated. You are not at fault, Akashi.” Kise gently places his hand over the redhead’s. He drops the -chii to show his seriousness. “I want you to know that I love you, and _him_. I love all of you.” _Because if I only love this version of Akashi, giving up on him would be so much easier._

“Don’t tell me that you love me, because anyone can tell me that. Tell me that I make you tear up with anger and frustration, but at the end of the day you still want to lay down next to me, put your arms around me, and sleep.”

“I love you. I want you. I want to be the last person you see before you sleep and the first when you wake up. I want your sleepy confused look when you wake up and the smile that follows. I want to be the warmth that fills the space in your bed.”

The moon is now shining its soft light on them. Under the alluring light, Kise seems to glow. Akashi places his head on the blond’s shoulder, intertwines their hands together. He misses this scent. He misses this touch. He misses Kise more than he realises.

“I love you, Kise Ryouta.” The moon witnesses their first kiss in so many years. Under that moonlight, Akashi’s heart solely belongs to Kise and Kise’s love is devoted to only Akashi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe this is the end? Should I continue?


End file.
